Romantic Gift Giving Tips (Part II)

Finding a gift for our 'significant other' is usually the hardest....
 Fraught with emotional turmoil, our mind races around and around the mall like that hamster at the pet store or like the miniature train that drops the kids off in front of Santa and the annoying musical loop that keeps playing Deck the Halls over and over again until you're ready to scream--FALALALALALALALALA! Try to break the cycle and head out into the sunshine or snowstorm--away from the food court, the smell of cinnamon rolls and Chinese food--where you can think clearly and make a rational decision regarding the most important person in your life.  

Breathe.

Connections

Gifts can be inexpensive like a wood bead bracelet or expensive like the Taj Mahal. Gifts are meant to express love and the recipient should feel the love. Will your gift evoke emotions and love? 

Let’s say your first kiss was under a maple tree and the wood beads in the bracelet are made of maple beads. Maybe each bead has a letter that is carved into the bead spelling out the date of that kiss or each bead is painted the color of the sweater you were wearing on that fateful day. There needs to be some sort of connection between the gift and a memory for it to be the perfect gift. If you remembered she/he loves roses and you bought a gift of roses or rosewater then that is a personal connection. Perhaps he loves pecans and you remembered that his mother always baked him a pecan pie on his birthday, then a basket or tin of pecans makes a very thoughtful personal gift.

                                                  

Maybe you see diamonds every time their eyes sparkle and you've relayed that sentiment repeatedly ever since the first time you met. The special gift of sparkling gemstones will tie in with the memory of your comments about sparkling eyes--making your generous gift extraordinary. 

                                                    

Sexy lingerie is not the only gift that is personal. Something that warms the heart, as in a funny humorous gift that will bring back smiles, laughter and fond memories is also very good. For example, a picture frame is essentially a very boring gift, but if it has a picture of something special then it becomes a treasured personal gift. Personal is when you take the time to remember that she loves the smell of limes squeezed into her Corona beer. Lime is a wonderful scent to come across at the perfume counter and many men’s colognes also have the smell of key limes. One of my favorite gifts was a special spa vacation where I sat in orange scented bubbles in a private bathtub under an orange tree full of fruit and blossoms. The scent of orange blossoms will always remind me of that wonderful experience. Though a vacation or small trip to a winery or spa might be costly, it's a gift that will be cherished for a lifetime.

                                                              

Creativity

Have you thought about making something unique or writing a personalized poem? I personally remember crocheting  scarves, writing poems, sewing pajamas and baking cakes for example.  If money is a problem, have you thought of painting a picture on a rock or carving something from wood and giving him/her a paperweight, bookends or a door stop? The internet is full of great How-to articles that can assist you with making things from bags, cans, yarn and various recyclable materials.  Imagine their delight in knowing you put your heart into a creation  no one on earth can duplicate? Your sweetheart is an original and they are worth the original investment of your time. Best of all they can’t return it and they will love the effort and aforementioned personal connection. Most of all, they will love you for being creative. 

This is my attempt at a paperweight for a golfer.
 It's hard to see the little flag but it's there on the right. I'm sure you can do better.

To be Continued:

Next week is my final segment on gifts and I'll wrap it up with a sort of pre-planned observational theory I call "Thinking Outside of the Gift-box." 

FYI:
By the way--I recently began using the Google Affiliate advertising photos for a simpler way to decorate my writing. It saves me tons of time. Of course if someone clicks on the photos and buys the stuff I'm supposedly going to make a very small commission. Thought I should let you know.

Romantic Gift Giving Tips (Part I)

Gift Giving Tips That Will 

Save Your Relationship from the EPIC Fail

Sometimes it seems the hardest part of love is figuring out what to give as a gift. You want the recipient to smile, laugh and maybe even cry with appreciation. You want them to be surprised, but most of all you want your loved one to enjoy your thoughtfulness, because—you don’t want to stick your head in the sand— and you want your partner to know you care. 

Too busy? Too poor? Sorry, those excuses just won’t work in committed relationships. Even if you recently received a pink slip, I’m sure you can take the time to write a poem.

 Here, in three parts, are some ideas that can take the hard work, the difficult decisions and the formidable tension out of gift giving drudgery, turning it into a deeply rewarding experience.  Applied properly, these ideas can take your relationship onto a level shared by those who call each other soul mates. Gift-giving can rise to a memorable art-form if you simply give it a chance.

Rule These Methods Out

Is it something they need?
Christmas, Valentine’s Day and birthdays are not about need. Do not give someone a gift they need. Example: Underwear or socks. Forgetaboutit. We need water and air for survival, but gift giving and life support are completely separate entities.

Is it something they want?
Did they say they wanted a tool set or perfume? If they specifically asked for something then opening your gift is kind of humdrum. Where’s the fun in that? What makes you a better spouse than the next door neighbor or anyone else for that matter? Let them whine, “But I wanted ____.” Shouldn't they be surprised about the gift? There are other days for the things we want....


Besides, are you just an order taker? Once you give in to this one, you’ll be ordered around for the rest of your life. (Small wink for those who have already fallen into this unfortunate one-sided cycle of life, but at least you’ll have a fairly easy shopping experience.)

A gift shouldn't be utilitarian like a part for an automobile or a household appliance.
Even though they will enjoy the clean dishes, the new tires or the coffee, they might resent the cool, impersonal and slightly out of touch insensitivity surrounding your practical gift. Not a good idea. Admit it. You had a coupon or a Black Friday special and couldn't resist. You benefited by saving money and getting a deal, but the recipient doesn't see “gift.” They see “work” as in more dish washing, carpooling, cooking, cleaning etc. Avoid giving the practical gift by selecting these things before or after a holiday.These are household necessities that you can purchase together. Aw, how sweet.

Speaking of impersonal, the laziest and most obvious lack of gift giving talent is expressed by the gift card as a gift. You can wrap it in gold, but it’s still a plastic card screaming: “They had to hurry.” The gift card makes a great gift for the office gift exchange perhaps, but not for your spouse. 

To be Continued:

Next week I'll write about connecting your personal memories and translating them into thoughtful and creative gifts.  In my final segment I'll wrap this up with a sort of pre-planned observational theory that can help you nail future gift-giving dilemmas in a flash. 

FYI:
By the way--I recently began using the Google Affiliate advertising photos for a simpler way to decorate my writing. It saves me tons of time. Of course if someone clicks on the photos and buys the stuff I'm supposedly going to make a very small commission. Thought I should let you know--and I think everything pictured here is from Sam's Club or Kohls.

Beyond Gravy-A Thanksgiving Prayer/Poem

Unbuttoned

This Thanksgiving,

Among my trivial dreams

Of cranberry sauce and gravy,

I want to remember those who went without power

Due to Hurricane Sandy.

When I’m sniffing cornbread stuffing--

About to pop a giant piece of roasted

White meat into my mouth,

I want to remember those who lost their house,

Their car--

Or loving pets, I’ll sigh…

Then:

Pulling taught across my chest.

Flying across the room--

My missing button--

Leaping from excess,

Miraculously bringing me to my knees,

Before my first slice of pumpkin pie.

Or my second?

Shhh.

Then:

Searching under the shadowy cloak of tablecloth,

Swearing and complaining,

Tears of shame--

Creaking joints,

Dusty floor.

I’ll remember those who don’t have anything.

Who sit in the cold, dark, damp

Residual of a horrible storm,

Without happy relatives and casseroles.

Then:

Long after the grace and smiling blessings,

With a sliver of room still squashed near my heart,

I’ll ask for mercy for those less fortunate.

For those still suffering--

Stitching, repairing and exhaling.

Wishing them hope and strength to rebuild.

Wishing them warmth and light

Returning laughter—

A simple dream revised,

Of cranberry sauce and gravy.

Welcoming Canadians and Golf Widows!

A big welcome to any and all Canadians who come down to our part of the desert during the winter months. Have you thawed out yet? There are so many of you now that the local paper way down here near Mexico has an entire eight page section called Canada. Whether it's your first time to our land of endless sunshine, or you've been tagging along with a golfer for years, I have a few recommendations for things to see and do in our lovely valley.

Photo Credit: Night shot of the 26ft tall Marilyn statue
 by American artist Seward Johnson.
Taken by my friend Nancy McKie Berryhill

1. See the Marilyn statue before they take her away. Marilyn in her white halter dress with a desert mountain backdrop is so indicative of this area that it gives me goose bumps. When I saw it for the first time, it was at least a hundred degrees and the artist created her white pleated dress with so much movement, I almost felt a breeze in the shadows between her shapely legs.
2.  Drive out towards the Mojave Desert and take pictures of rocks and Joshua trees or visit Joshua Tree National Monument. I always see something new in nature. There are also hiking trails right here in our valley that are quite nice. One of them starts at the top of the Cove in La Quinta or there’s the Bump and Grind in Palm Desert. Whatever you do, make sure you take lots of water, wear comfortable shoes and a hat, bring sunscreen and a cell phone. Our paper has too many stories of rescued hikers that veered off into strange isolated parts of the vast terrain. Be careful and cautious.
3. Visit the Living Desert. Not just a place for kids, The Living Desert has giraffes, camels and various cats that prowl around in a lovely sanctuary. More importantly, there are amazing gardens full of hummingbirds, butterflies and cacti. If you enjoy photography and nature this is a fabulous place to check out. They also have the largest miniature train display I have ever seen.
4. Luxury shopping on El Paseo. This street is the pride of the Coachella Valley. Lined with sculptures from various artists who work in many types of media, this is the ultra-chic shopping district where elegant restaurants snuggle up to Tiffany’s while blasting you in cold air-conditioned comfort. I like to go to Pottery Barn and dine at Tommy Bahamas, The Daily Grill or Pacifica. They recently opened an Apple store too.
5. Festivals and Special Events. Fortunately, most of this stuff takes place in the winter when the weather is mild. The list of these fun festivals is excessively long, but there is something for everyone. Besides the enormously popular Coachella Music Festival and the Stage Coach Country Music festival there  are Art fairs, Air Shows and Mid-Century Modern events juxtaposed with the Tamale Festival, the Date Festival, Brews and Blues, Polo, a dog show, the Palm Springs International Film Festival and out toward Twenty-Nine Palms there is even a Weed Show Competition. My friend Marie Collier happens to be a docent at the local museum and the author of Gather the Children. She told me all about it and I’m even considering entering next year! Legal or illegal, I've never grown weed on purpose. Surely, I can grow some weeds in a year!

As you can see, there’s more to this area than just palm trees, pools and golf. Once you visit and feel the shimmering warmth and see the stars sparkle in the November sky, you’ll want to stay here forever. Because the desert rocks!

Pooling Ideas about Book Promotion and Supernatural Marketing

The elephant in the publishing rooms seems to be marketing. Big publishers do more marketing and thereby sell more books. At least that’s what was happening before all the technological improvements opened up the market, allowing smaller publishers and individuals to compete. Writers everywhere are learning about promoting, branding, social networking, trade shows, seminars, book festivals, library tours, cover design, reviewers, video trailers, ad specialties, eBook conversions, press releases,  contests, tee shirts, pens, calendars etc. Teaming up sounds like an idea, but everyone has their own book to publicize so it’s hard to figure out how to join forces and pool ideas. As a writing community, we are generally supportive of each other’s endeavors, but marketing casts a shadow and a fear into the hearts of many who pen novels, poems and non-fiction. Marketing requires the writer to step out of their comfort zone, actually asking for readers, friends and relatives to buy books! Memories of selling wrapping paper for the high school booster club come flooding back into our head and fogging our good writing thoughts with horrid recollections of slamming doors and growling dogs.

While I don’t have any concrete answers here in this post, I can at least tell you two crucial things that helped me with marketing. Of course, these two things helped me with marketing in the newspaper business, so I don’t really know if they would work for books. Either way, this advice helped me a great deal. It sounds so simple and it is, but how you use and process the information is the bottom line.

 Anyway, here it is: 1. Enjoy it-have fun. 2. While having fun, don’t forget to ask for the sale.

Top of the Line Marketing  

It rained on our anniversary trip to Vegas. Our initial plan was to spend days at the pool and nights on the town. Barren desert had deep pools of water next to the side of the road and what appeared to be puddles were actually temporary lakes that could swallow a car. Two or three days of rain were sudden, furious and exciting. We held hands walking on the strip between hotels while loud crackling thunder and lightning sparkled above the neon lights in competing displays of energy.

This was the nicer weather.
Picture from the Strip looking down Tropicana Blvd.

 One afternoon we attempted to go swimming in the swimming pool but the blackish gray clouds started showering us after half an hour. Boom, the thunder had me running from the pool. With nothing to do but eat, we did a massively wonderful job at the buffet, a bakery, a yogurt shop and a gourmet restaurant not to mention Starbucks. The only other option was gambling which is a losing proposition and usually ends up making us sad. Back to the food and shopping.

These casinos have ingenious marketing, because the day we returned home the weather was lovely, the ponds had dried and the sun was blasting around us in ninety-five degrees. Why let the visitors waste their time at the swimming pool, when they can be losing money in the casinos, shopping or buying food? Talk about strategic marketing plans. Those guys have some powerful connections.

Do you have a marketing plan? Is it watertight?

 Do you have ideas to share?