At its best, life is completely
unpredictable.—Christopher Walken
September was psycho weird, but October is the month for ghosts and goblins and horrific stories that keep us up at night. Let's laugh before it starts getting too scary out there.... Small drum roll and a little cowbell would be good right about now. Don’t you just
love Christopher Walken?
A snap on the cymbals right after each sequence works
well too. Just remember, I’m the friend who tells you the truth when she’s
sober. Remember that, it might come in handy or you may want to stop following
me now. Speaking of cows….
I received a catalog that
says, “With you in mind.” I turn a page and inside is a picture of pants
with a sculpting tube built into
them. Besides offending me while wanting my money, don’t you think sculpting tube sounds dangerous? Speaking
of pants….
One of my beta readers
said my manuscript was fine. I think fine is like the word interesting.
“How are these pants, honey?” Wait for it. Wait for it. “Oh, the pants.
They’re interesting.” What does that mean? All right, maybe I could use a sculpting tube for my manuscript and my derriere. I refuse to live
on water and celery. Speaking of water….
I went to the movies a
couple of weeks ago and bought some French bottled water. Okay, this is
the desert, but at $20.00 a gallon, I’ll never complain about gasoline
again and thank goodness I only bought one liter. Maybe hydrogen-powered
cars are not a good idea after all. Speaking of good ideas…
My brother gave me a
Canadian made game called Best Seller and it’s wonderful for making my
delusions sound realistic. In fact, it might pass Scrabble as a favorite. Speaking
of bestsellers….
The Governator is sorry
and he wrote a book about it. Puhleeze. Isn't there an island for
political husbands who have served their purpose and are now past their
expiration date? If there is one, it must be crowded. Speaking of
expiration dates….
Hubs asked about the cookies
that haven’t been disappearing. Shaking the box, “Why do you buy things
like this?”
“It’s French,” I replied, using my
fake Gallic accent and hoping he’d eat one. Several weeks ago, I made him taste
a few and we both agreed they weren't that great.
“They also have Poodle waste in
France,” he countered. Speaking of dogs….
I read that Uggie the Jack
Russell from the movie The Artist
and Water for Elephants uses a
doggy treadmill due to paparazzi! Speaking of a possible mess....
My new pooch Fiona doesn't want to soil puppy pads because there are no more rugs left on the tile
floor. We have decided to live rug free. Since puppy pads cost five times
more than a daily newspaper subscription, she’s going to have to learn to
read. More cowbell!!! Speaking of reading….
This site has more
visitors than ever before and I wanted to thank you all for stopping by
The Desert Rocks! We love being unpredictable!
Anyway, time to write or tell some ghost stories and if you're multi-talented, do it with your best Christopher Walken impersonation.
Anyway, time to write or tell some ghost stories and if you're multi-talented, do it with your best Christopher Walken impersonation.
A 'fine' blog post today. :) Actually it's great. My Walken impersonation? His hair. I'll be back after I tease and spray.
ReplyDeleteThe Governator's hoping the book sells well. Maria's going to take him for everything she can get!
ReplyDeleteArnold's worst acting to date has been the interviews he's done on his book tour.
ReplyDeleteI'll never understand why celebrities feel the need to write books. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI love horror stories - King is one of my favourite authors.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you mention Walken and more cowbell - fiance and I shared the SNL skit with our parents yesterday while we enjoyed Thanksgiving dessert - it was hilarious. "I've got a fever, and the only prescription, is more cowbell."
I despise the word "fine", as well as "sure". They're just so ambiguous and lack any real emotion. I usually take them negatively.
Ahh, you did this post so well. Loved it.
ReplyDelete...speaking of Christopher Walken and scary, I love what he said: "I don't need to be made to look evil. I can do that on my own."
ReplyDeleteVery funny!! Speaking of Fiona, my neighbor informed me that if her dog has an "accident" in the house, she picks the Oriental rug. To have a face like Christopher Walken, he's handsome, yet creepy at the same time.
ReplyDeleteHahahahah!! Speaking of the Governator...uh, I'm not wasting a dime on that poor excuse for attention!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, Arnold's book is simply more self-indulgent stuff to get the spotlight back on him again. He even chimed in on the presidential debates. "My advice to both candidates is to tell the truth." It just makes me shake my head. Why would anyone listen to him. But he enjoys getting uber attention. That's (in my opinion) why he wrote the "tell-all" book.
ReplyDeleteChristopher Walken is a pleasure to watch on screen. I like his line delivery...I can't avoid listening to it.
I hate unspecific words like "interesting" or "fine". I recently tried to help a "differently-abled" co-worker by loading his wheelchair into the van that we have at work. His instructions went like this: "Grab the thing and turn it over. Put it on the thing over there. No not that thing but the other thing. No turn the thing over. The other way. Yes that thing and that other thing needs to go on the thing."
I got so frustrated I actually raised my voice. He later apologized and told me that he couldn't come up with the words for what he needed so just kept using "thing" and didn't realize how awful it was.
Sounds like your beta-reader needs to keep a knee-jerk reaction list while reading.
ReplyDeleteAs for Fiona, she may have to get a job at being cute to pay for her pee-pee pads.
Hugs and chocolate,
Shelly
That best seller game sounds fun. Someone also told me my book was, "fine" and when I got home I cried my eyes out! I take it as an insult. Love your blog. I'll be back!
ReplyDeleteHello Eve, its cold, our heating broke down last week and is still not fixed so in an effort to cheer myself up I visited you - it worked. Laughter really is the best medicine! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi Eve,
ReplyDeleteIf you recently submitted a story titled "Desert Snow" to the StoneThread spec fic contest, please email me at publisher@stonethreadpublishing.com. You failed to put your email addy in the submission, and I've long since deleted your email.
Thanks,
Harvey Stanbrough
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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