Why eReaders Will Save The Planet

Maybe I'm wacky, but I’ve been giving some thought to this whole eBook revolution, based on some seriously sick-minded thoughts about a book I haven’t even read and don’t plan on reading. The book I’m talking about has to do with the color gray, but my creative mind is bumfuzzled over the weirdest thing. Basically, I’ve come to the conclusion that eReaders might actually save our planet.

I was thinking about that author. The one making all that money and I started thinking that e-books are less messy and not as incriminating when someone is fooling around. If I had written something like that, I’d be revolted thinking of some lonely person rubbing a book up against their private parts, or tearing out pages in a heated frenzy only to tickle their lover’s behind. At first, this would make me pause and feel embarrassed but after the first or second million, it wouldn’t really matter. Let them roll up the entire book and stick it where they please. Paper however, is made out of trees and maybe I’d start to think that if I’m making millions there must be millions of trees getting chopped down just so frustrations can be turned into fun. Oh, you naughty print book! Wait until I turn you over and donate your rippling pages to a library!

 (Sorry, I don't mean to be vulgar and I have no reason to be jealous because my manuscript will definitely attract a different and much, much smaller audience.)

Which is why e-books are so neat--and clean…delete after every encounter—every messy rendezvous. You can probably wipe it clean with a damp cloth! While riding home on the subway—there’s no erotic looking cover photo shamefully flashing around the cabin--sticking out of your tote bag. Anonymous bliss and complete satisfaction all at the touch of an Amazon button—like a one night stand--isn't it wonderful?