Five Questions To Ask on Your First Date

I thought I’d come up with some questions for all you ladies who are dating.

Make sure you ask these questions on the first date. Be careful, any of these answers should raise a red flag. A big one. I’m sure he’s cute and all, but if you get any of these answers, you might want to reconsider that second date.

1.       Do you floss?

a.       What do you mean exactly?

b.      Never, that stuff gets expensive—besides these are false anyway.

c.       Yeah, when I run out of clean underwear.

2.       What’s your idea of a romantic dinner?

a.       I get rid of the roommate.

b.      I don’t use a coupon for dinner, and we go for a 2 for 1 bowling special.

c.       Who cares as long as you’re doing the cooking?

3.       How many kids do you have?

a.       Oh, she tried to frame me, but the DNA test came out fine.

b.      Two in California….

c.       From which wife?

4.       What line of work are you in?

a.       I plan to become an investor as soon as I get my hands on some money.

b.      Are you hiring?

c.       Baby, together we can do anything.

5.       Let’s discuss protection. When the time comes, will you be prepared?

a.       Definitely, my gun’s in the glove box.

b.      From what?

c.     Big time. On my way over I picked up a huge super-sized box of 500 at the warehouse store.

Oh and by the way, why don’t you look anything like your Matchbox.com photo?

Don’t worry gentlemen—next time we’ll cover questions to ask on your first date.