Free Marital Advice

Two Simple Solutions to Minimize

 Male Bashing and Save Marriages

Women, this post is directed at you but since I don’t want to alienate  any of my wonderful gentlemen readers, I thought I’d ask for forgiveness ahead of time for something that is truly meant to be fun and entertaining. Don’t forget it’s the holiday season guys, and you still have remnants of good will lying around in your heart. Right?

Okay ladies, time to suck it up, after all it is 2012 and we’ve lived with our lovable, cretin brethren for eons. You already know the drill and if you’re too young and inexperienced to know, well then you shouldn’t be on the internet without parental approval. The truth is I get bored of hearing about two basic bathroom related complaints I come across frequently and I thought I’d offer my humble  guidance and maybe even a solution for overcoming  these festering problems. My dear friends, these complaints are not original, creative or unique, and to us older ladies out here in blog land they start inducing yawns. I know you want to train him, and I’m sure that it’s possible for almost any other task like washing dishes--maybe, even vacuuming, but these two things are outside of most scientific research and understanding. World renowned researchers and behaviorists have done the studies, but unfortunately the lab rats they used in their experiments do not read, blog or utter a word about the results. It is only a matter of time, however when the latest findings using chimpanzees will shed light on this crucial division of the sexes. It’s like a conspiracy that male scientists have been covering up for years.( Personally, I’m wondering why they are going to all the trouble of teaching the chimps to speak when they could just as easily use human guinea pigs.) Anyway, if you don’t have dual sinks in your master bath, I’m truly sorry but let’s not get sidetracked; the real reason for this post is the toilet.

First of all, we know that he will never, ever learn to put the seat down. Trust me, it’s a given that’s probably coded on his DNA. If you have to nag the guy for the next twenty or fifty years of marriage, well sorry, you might want to save your corpuscles from overreacting to the oldest attention getting, excuse making ploy in the book. Once you go down that road and continue harping on the old man he’ll find exceedingly imaginative ways of getting you back. (I have a very vivid imagination and figuring you know him better than I do, I won’t fill this part with any examples.) This escalating poison can best be described as something along the lines of old cartoons with Tom and Jerry or Tweety bird ending in divorce court. “That’s All Folks.” Yikes. Moaning and groaning over this ridiculous, primal situation is just not worth an argument or even the elevation in your blood pressure. Now that you’ve chosen each other as partners and hopefully friends, an extra compromise is not usually a deal breaker, but if we don’t remember to put the seat down ourselves, once it’s dark, we can injure our derrieres. Not only is it disgusting and embarrassing but it can be downright dangerous! 

That’s why my solution is to stick a tiny piece of glow in the dark tape to the underside of the toilet seat. This tape is usually available at your local bicycle shop or home improvement store.

Which brings me to the second complaint I keep reading about, for which I have yet another easy solution….Yup, I had these installed the minute we moved in together and no one needs to wait or wonder about who will change the roll….

Easy on, easy off 

Leaving you more time to be together.