The Last Chapter in Our Book

The difference between
 the angels
 and us is...


 that they know
 
what will happen...
















 when your story ends.










Happy Memorial Day!

Shocking Food Revelations!

Words That are Hard to Swallow and The Misunderstandings or Indigestion They Create

Did Curiosity Kill the Cat or was it the Belgians?
Growing up I remember asking my dad for a shake. He would pick me up and shake me up and down.
Of course, I was giggling and protesting, “No, daddy, I want a chocolate shake.” Despite the whining he would pick me up again and say, “But you said you wanted a shake.” True, I would say to myself. Dad got me. I thought about that word and other words that caused me consternation and confusion in relation to food. When he finally took me for a real chocolate shake and a hamburger, I asked him where the ham was. No ham? What are buffalo wings? I ate my food, but I had so many questions.

Wings could really help me get across this river

 On the way home, we stopped at a European delicatessen and I stared at the “Dutch Tile Cookies” wondering what tile had to do with the cookies.  Turning around to ask my dad,  I became distracted by  a small box of Belgium chocolates called, “Cat’s Tongues.” Perplexed, I stared at the box, picked it up and tried to figure out if there were real cats wandering around Europe without their tongues.

 I put it back and went to find a small box of rice for my dad. I thought about the box of wild rice and why it was considered wild. I knew my mother said I was wild, but why the rice? What about pineapples? Where is the pine and where is the apple? I  still can’t figure it out. Did you know that Plum Pudding  doesn't contain any plums? As a child, would you have known that Baked Alaska is not a piece of the state with toasted meringue on top? My dad bought some head cheese, and you can trust me when I tell you it had nothing to do with cheese. We get home and our neighbor brought us a pie. It was mincemeat pie and everyone  fawned all over how delicious it smelled, but all I could think of is that it must have meat in it. Originally, mincemeat pies did have meat, but the updated recipe has been modernized and contains only currants, sugar, apples, citrus peels and spices. Of course now, after learning that Floating Islands is a dessert, and not some place I missed during my geography class, I still find mysterious surprises on menus everywhere I turn….

The Boggy Bayou Mullet Festival
Niceville, Florida in October.
 Four tons of the fish will be served.
Wear your hair anyway you like.

Adult Warnings
Next time you go to a fancy restaurant you might want to remember that Sweetbreads are not bread at all, but the glands of an animal and a Mullet is a fish not a hairstyle from the eighties. If this restaurant happens to be near the Continental Divide, be very wary of something they serve peeled, pounded and flattened, dipped in spices, fried and called “oysters”. If you’re anywhere near Vinita, Okalahoma at the end of August, you can get your fill at a festival where they serve over two thousand pounds of the stuff. It’s a delicacy in some circles…but…well…I just feel so much better knowing I warned you. Oh, and be extra glad you missed the March food festival in New Zealand where they served up flavored, horse shots that allegedly tasted like chocolate shakes or a bad date. Yuck. I can’t even get myself to tell you what they really consisted of... sometimes you’re on your own.

Have you experienced any food misunderstandings in your lifetime?

How Time Disappears

Why Food Shopping Takes Time

“I hate shopping with you,” he says, opening the car door and undoing his safety belt. “I think I’ll just stay right here and wait.”

“Why would you do that? It’s hot out here.”

“That’s fine by me, I’ll just wait. You stare at everything for half an hour before choosing what you need.”

“Would you stop? I do not.”

“Yes, dear, even your mother told me she hated shopping with you.”

“Whatever, I’ll be back,” I say, slamming the door and rushing into the food store. Twenty minutes later, he’s walking down the aisle looking for me.

“What are you doing?” he asks looking into my half-empty cart.

“Me? I’m shopping. What are you doing? I thought you were going to be ‘fine’ in the car; enjoying yourself without me.”

“You take too long.”

“I know, you already told me. Now go home and come back or go back to the car so I can enjoy shopping without your sad, puppy dog eyes making me feel guilty,” I reply while pointing towards the exit.

“I’ll be in the car.”

Later in the car, I tell him to try visualizing himself picking out things for his family.
This is a summary with cleaned up language:

I don’t look at things for half an hour. Time just slips away when you are choosing the best Jalapenos, Serrano chili or Anaheim peppers out of a group of wrinkled ones. One bad pepper, tomato or onion can spoil the entire bunch. Do I want red or Vidalia sweet onions?  My mind is processing recipes and wondering if two big ones will be enough, or should I buy a whole bag? Tick Tock.
I picked up a limp cucumber and put it back. After picking up three, I finally found a couple fresh, hard ones that will crunch when we bite into them. I admit I stared at the mounds of green bananas to see if they had any yellow ones. I kept staring and found some brown speckled ugly bananas. Yuck. I gave up and moved on. Hard cheese, soft cheese, spread-able, grate-able cheeses in many varieties tried reminding me silently, as they sat on the shelf, that I might need one for something I plan on cooking. I glanced at my watch. No, that would take too long; I had to pass on cheese. Too many choices. I needed chicken and debated on the value of skinless meat versus the ones with skin for a dollar less. I tried choosing a moderately healthy cereal from about a hundred different types and some trashcan liners. Did I want a smaller box of heavy-duty bags or a larger box of wimpy bags? There were about a dozen different types of trashcan liners for kitchen trash and I’ll admit, this took some time. Overall, my private little hesitations took time. Tiny incremental pieces of time that added up to about a half of an hour and disappeared into a special oblivion for those we love and care about.

Some Books Can Change Your Life

A Turning Point


As a youngster, I knew animals communicated with each other, but I would never, ever tell anyone about it.
Call it a child’s prerogative if you must, but some things are off limits. Restricted. Classified and sealed shut like Pandora’s Box. In fact, you could have shown me irrefutable evidence against Santa Claus, and I would not have taken the bait; mostly, because for some strange reason, I also had a hunch, that suit-wearing adults come up with some strange stories.

E.B. White

Imagine my surprise when my fourth grade teacher started reading us Charlotte’s Web. How would Mr. E. B. White know about these private and very secret things?  A picture showed a very scholarly gentleman wearing a tweed suit, on the inside flap. Give me a break. Where did he get his information? Who told him?  How did he know this stuff and how dare he write about it? The part that shocked the kid in me was that he actually told everyone about this and divulged the truth to millions of curious or lackadaisical readers. I couldn’t get enough, but there were those in class who acted apathetic, like this pudgy troublemaker in our class called Howard who constantly interrupted our teacher. Usually Howard wanted to go to the bathroom, but whenever he left the classroom, we all knew he was just outside causing trouble. My friend Jeannie would pass me a note when the teacher became preoccupied with Howard and of course, this erupted into a bigger disturbance, because the teacher would walk over and ask me for the note. During these episodes, the spitballs usually hit the ceiling. I truly wanted to hear the story about Wilbur and the spider, but I also wanted to read my friend’s note. There were no more secrets.  I think it took the teacher most of the school year to get through Charlotte’s Web, a great book that reminds me what happened later that summer when I  learned about Stuart Little. This guy White knew everything…he even knew about rodents, and that book  led me to Beverly Cleary’s book, The Mouse on The Motorcycle, which somehow led me to the public library where I discovered Frank Baum’s wonderful series of books on Oz and I’m sorry everybody, but I haven’t been the same ever since.

Do you remember what book turned you into a reader or a writer?

Maturing into Laughter-(A poem)

Babies enter crying-
They should laugh-
But they cry.


Not understanding-
The meaning of pain-
Punchlines-
The why.


Depths of joy promising...hope.


Erasure.




Appreciating life
Takes time.


The joy of standing
Makes you forget your falls-
Laughing makes you forget your tears.


The salty, waste water of youth,
Distilled,
Aging...
Until it drips,
Slightly sweetened with humor-
Now pure-
To wash away the fears.

Four Haiku for Spring

Fairies were dancing

Tangled in the underbrush,

Swiftly I freed them.

******

Tapping on the window,

I notice the seed is gone,

Again, his beak taps.

******

Immersing myself

Infused, wrapped, full of hope,

Desire springs like a deer.

******

Spring cleaning is hard

With a hole in my bucket,

Like a foreign spy.

Five Awesome Books

Book. Books. Books

I read so many blogs, newspapers, internet news-stories, emails, advertisements, poems, Biblical passages, cookbooks, that I rarely have time for the meat...the real nitty-gritty… my raison d’etre, the real deal, the reading of fiction books! Yeah. Oh my goodness, my dear writing friends, it is imperative that we continue reading books. Those of you into e-books can read on your computer or Kindle, but I prefer curling up on my bed with pages I can turn!  A bird feeder outside my window, the sound of a fountain tinkling in the background and I’m devouring the writing of someone who published something wonderful enough for me to buy.

March and April seemed to fly by fast but these five fiction novels kept me engrossed….

Morning Light by Catherine Anderson- It’s about a woman with “second-sight,” a type of telepathy that enables her to see things about her life in advance. Easy, romantic reading.

The Bride Stripped Bare-Nikki Gemmell (Originally published anonymously)-Erotica written from a different perspective …. It’s written in the second person as  in “you”, throughout and pretty soon you feel like all these naughty decisions are your own...be careful.

Olive Kitteridge-Elizabeth Strout-I enjoyed this story about a teacher/mother who seemed to be learning things the hard way.  Not surprised  the author won a Pulitzer Prize.

Luck of the Draw- Norma Beishir-Crime and punishment meets sex in the city! I don’t think I could have turned the pages any faster.

Tricky Business-Dave Barry-Humor writing and excitement, in the middle of a hurricane. I kept my husband awake from laughing out loud.